Scientology Ideal Org Shelf Life = Three Weeks

khrushchev-1

Dr. Frank Wonderman, Executive Director, Ideal Orgs Metrics Organization (IOMO)

“The research is in — and it is profoundly grim and enturbulating even to we who are veteran OT’s,” said  Dr. Frank Wonderman, ED of the Ideal Orgs Metrics Organization (IOMO).

“It seems the shelf life of a new Scientology Ideal Org is only three weeks.”

“This has been proven scientifically at every Ideal Org.  Let us take our Basel Ideal Org as an example. In the three weeks surrounding its grand opening by COB, the attendance at Basel hit an all time high of 194 people.”

“After the hoopla, balloons, and confetti surrounding COB’s appearance, however, the stats crashed back down to pre-grand opening levels of about twelve people in the Basel Org at any given time — and most of these were dilettantish staff members who ‘moonlight’ by holding a wog job at night in order to eat; where is their commitment?”

“The photos tell the horrifying story of the Basel stat crash. Here is the grand opening of Basel with COB present:

basel_opening_full

“When COB opened the Basel Ideal Org there were 194 real people in attendance. This total included 61 actual Scientologists gathered from Europe and Russia; 100 paid actors; and 33 locals who showed up for the free ham sandwiches and beer.  Golden Era, of course, took the liberty of photoshopping in the thousands of virtual OT’s who were telepathically there.”

But then what happened? COB left town. One year later Basel is as empty, derelict, and hopeless as a sunken ship at the bottom of the Marianas Trench:

Basel,2

“The scientific graph we in IOMO have plotted does not lie:

scientific.graph

“The why for Ideal Orgs having a shelf life of only three weeks is COB RTC David Miscavige.”

“In other words, COB is the mystical life essence of the Church of Scientology. When COB is not present in his physical body there can be no Church of Scientology.”

“The answer is to sell off en masse the entire inventory of staledated Ideal Orgs and consolidate into a single ONE WORLD ORG where all Scientologists will be gathered together with COB. This will allow us to assemble each evening for countless hours to hear COB’s pontifical orations from his golden throne.”

“The IAS has just purchased the old White Front store in Downey, California to serve as COB’s new ONE WORLD ORG.”

WF

“Renovations to COB-approved ONE WORLD ORG standards should cost not more than five hundred million American dollars. The fundraise begins now!”

3 responses to “Scientology Ideal Org Shelf Life = Three Weeks

  1. When COB RTC David Miscavige was first informed of these stats, Dr. Wonderman suggested a cloning program, a COB clone if you will to be stationed at each org. At that point, Miscavige loudly proclaimed “I love Boys from Brazil. Let’s do it” After months of fund raising, wog geneticists were hired and immediately they found miniature Pomeranian genes in his pool and the project was abandoned. Thus, this project was put in place instead of COB clones.

    As a point of clarification, COB was talking about the movie ‘Boys from Brazil’ when he expressed his love. In fact, at the time uttered, when Jenny Linson heard this statement, she uncontrollably peed a little.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. whostolemycog

    This gives me 3 weeks to get to Atlanta before it expires…sheesh…a gallon of milk stays fresh almost as long an ideal org.

    Like

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