“The new Scientology Ideal Org Romania for Ex-Communist Scientologists is now open,” declared Commissar Frank Wonderman, CO for Eastern European and Russia.
“Thus far, however, no Sea Org have reported for duty and no publics have appeared to purchase Scientology goods and services in great quantities.”
This is not a good sign,” said Captain Wonderman.
“Our prediction was to have 5,o00,000 Ex-Communist Scientologists on the Basics at this point in time. Furthermore, Flag Land Base was expecting us to ship 90,000 new Romanian Sea Org members to Flag.”
“These unexpected and highly negative and enturbulating events are surprising as we in the Free Romanian Ex-Communist Scientologists Association (FRECSA) believe that Scientology has so much more to offer than Communism,” said Commissar Wonderman.
“Nevertheless, many Ex-Communists are apparently unwilling to pay what they call ‘the insane American Church of Scientology’ the sum of $360,000 USD to attain the secret OT Levels which — due to internet SP propaganda — they falsely believe to be about the souls of dead space aliens.”
“I do not recognize such propaganda nor does the festively pompadoured Comrade Miscavige of Hollywood. What is more important, however, is that Eastern Europeans and Russians recognize why Scientology is better than Communism: