Tom Cruise Appears at Leah Remini’s Book Signing


Acting to dispel allegations that the Church of Scientology practices Disconnection, Scientologist Tom Cruise made an appearance at Leah Remini’s book signing at the Barnes & Noble in Tribeca.

“I just wanted to show Leah support and friendship,” said Cruise. “I wanted to let Leah know that although she and her family decided to leave Scientology  those of us who are still in the Church respect Leah’s decision and wish she and her family all the best.”

When asked by reporters why Church leader David Miscavige was expending so much energy and animus to attack Remini, Cruise responded by saying, “Dave Miscavige got a bug up his ass about this because he has a huge button on self-importance; he can’t stand to be rejected — that and he hasn’t been in session since 1993.”

“Ya’ know,” added Cruise, “it wouldn’t hurt Dave to buy himself a few intensives of auditing and get his ‘bitter defrocked apostate’ serfac handled because it really is a big embarrassment to the rest of us who are trying to be good representatives of what Scientology is and does and how it can help people.”

10 replies »

  1. Next you’ll tell us that TC has been in contact with David Mayo and arranged a session to make it go right with COB.

    BTW – Did COB dress up as Darth Vader for Halloween? I had a fowl mouthed little runt stop by my house that was smacking others with his lightsaber and yelling, “Fucking wogs ain’t got no Scotch, I’m gonna kick them in the crotch”

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Sorry to deflate your balloon, but that is not Tom Cruise, but an impersonator named Melvin Skagsworth from Norwalk, California. He used to do impersonations of Tom when he worked for me digging trenches in my Malibu home. Hope this clears it up.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Excuse me, but what’s up with TC’s new doo? Did he run out of mink oil? An OT with out of control hair is demonstrating no case gain.

    Just look at COB…the man’s hair is always under control. One of the super powers he discovered during his SP rundown was the ability to will his hair to stand at attention. Factually, this has saved thousands of dollars on hair products which COB has generously donated to the IAS Foundation for Caribean Retirement.

    Someone please contact TC. We need to get him on board.

    Liked by 2 people

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