Church of Scientology Devalues IAS Trophies

PatronMaximus“The IAS is gripped by a dual disaster,” exclaimed Church spokesman Ken Delusion.

“First, there is a vast oversupply of IAS status trophies. Indeed, IAS warehouses are holding a projected twenty-five year supply of status trophies — and this in the face of drastically falling demand.”

“Second, the value of IAS statuses have fallen 496% on the Scientology market in the past twelve months.”

“As a result of this perfect storm.” Delusion stated, “we in the Church of Scientology had no choice but to devalue IAS status trophies from their high fixed prices and allow them to drop to free market levels.”

“Accordingly, the $10,000,000 Platinum Double Diamond with Stayfree Wings trophy (pictured below) is now selling for $650.00 on eBay. 872 of these babies are available for immediate purchase,” Delusion remarked. “For an extra $100 you can pick up your IAS trophy at AOLA and have your photo taken with a cardboard likeness of COB RTC David Miscavige.”

IAS.Trophy

4 responses to “Church of Scientology Devalues IAS Trophies

  1. The man who made that pedestal is now doing the RPF to end all RPFs, that pedestal makes the elastic tee cal leader look a well dressed Oompa Loompa

    Like

  2. Truth be told, now is the time to jump in!! What you are seeing is a once in a lifetime opportunity…awh heck, let’s be honest…this is a once on the whole track opportunity to obtain a symbol identifying you as a Big Being. And next year when the value has returned back to $10 million, won’t you be glad your intention wasn’t diverted by the Psychs! You’ll have solid MEST evidence you are a Big Being, along with photographic proof of COB’s recognition of your KSW commitment.

    This devaluation won’t last, so don’t wait!! Act now!! Operators are standing by…Call 1-800-1-FOR-COB….that’s 1-800-1-FOR-COB.

    For just an additional $350, you can double up with a Freedom Medal of Valor. That’s right, this is the same medallion worn by TC, but you’ll have to act now!! Operators are standing by…Call 1-800-1-FOR-COB….or 1-800-1-FOR-TC2.

    You’ll be glad you did…or else.

    Like

  3. Is there a website that I can go to so that I can view other trophies that might be available? I really like the one shown here except for the Stayfree Wings. For some odd reason I just feel a bout of cramps coming on when I see it. Maybe those are just butterflies in my stomach from the thought of being so near to the card board cut out of His Holiness, COB RTC.

    Like

  4. These trophies look like awesome bongs.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s