We in Scientology Don’t Know Nuthin’

“We in the Choich ah Scientology don’t know nuthin’ bout no computer hacking.”

“We are upstandin’ citizens Senator.”

“It’s just by some weird coincidence that this gumshoe — and we never herda  this guy Saldarriaga — is hacking two guys who don’t like Scientology.”

“It’s just, ahhh, justa strange and unexplainable coincidence that this particular sitchu-achun would occur as it seems to have transpired.”

“Mr. Miscavige was outta town when it happened. He was real busy opening Ideal Orgs see. And with that we, as our twenty-two fancy wog attorneys have advised us Senator,  assert our Fifth Amendment rights.”

3 replies »

  1. Jellybutt Enabelerson will be the first live voice heard from KCET to debunk this outrageously outlandish flibberflabbing accusation. Stay tuned. These guys have the balls to confront our “We don’t do that anymore” benevolent perseverance of saving mankind’s infinity of forever. While “We are not a ‘turn-the-other-cheek’ kind of religion”, we must stay calm and obey our seniors directives. Come on into the org and help out with a new project in central files to ease your mind. It’s blast!!! And some folks bring food ;);)!!! We just received some new high tech equipment that will help us with this project and we’ll be pushing it’s limits to be able to proudly tell COB – “DONE, SIR!!!”


  2. Scientologists are to allowed on the inter webs. The only hacking any scientologist ever does is when we beg them to clean up the weeds in front of a building that will one day be an ideal org.


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