Having just made $3.55 billion dollars selling his pharmaceutical company Pharmacyclics to a wog drug company, Duggan realized just how much money there is to be made in Big Pharma.
And this is where Duggan ingeniously used his magical OT powers to instantly solve several big problems for the Church of Scientology while making both himself and the Church a fortune.
Duggan knew his beloved Church of Scientology was in the middle of a PR and financial nightmare of epic proportions.
Duggan clearly understood that Church leader David “let him die” Miscavige was the ecclesiastical equivalent of a steaming over-filled colostomy bag.
Duggan realized that the Church of Scientology was less popular than even gonorrhea.
But what really troubled Bob Duggan was the Church’s cash burn on its slave labor force. Even if the Church’s 5000 Sea Org members were only paid $46 per week, that was still a hefty $230,000 per week plus the costs of rice and beans.
Duggan knew it was high time to cut the slave labor force by selling Sea Org members for medical experimentation, organ harvesting, and, well, for slave labor in African diamond mines and other dangerous places where worker protections aren’t needed.
Duggan’s new joint venture with Scientology was launched: Slaveacyclics. “$100,000 per head for a Sea Org member,” Duggan announced at a recent press conference. “Do whatever you want with these downstats.” And with those words, the RPF and weekly pay for Sea Org suddenly vanished as problems.
“Slaveacyclics also offers a ‘problem child relocation service,” Duggan added. “If you have problem kids, we’ll ship ’em off to a Scientology Ideal Org in Africa for a price plus a weekly maintenance fee. I personally piloted this program with COB and it works great.”
“Rounding out our product offering, Slaveacyclics offers a service to make people problems disappear permanently,” Duggan enthused. “For a fee we will have our special agent Mr. Usman Bello take people on ride down the Sagbama Expressway. No need to bother with all 419 details here. It’s Scientology at work, and, Scientology works when applied standardly,”Duggan winked.