Captain Miscavige Turns 55, Has Chinese in Hemet

DM.Bidet

David Miscavige turned 55 today and had dinner at the China Palace in Hemet with WDC Chairman and his new vice-communicator Holotta Delusion, wife of Church spokesman Ken Delusion.

When presented with the bill, Mr. Miscavige demanded, and was given, the 10% seniors discount.

Fresh off his triumph of opening the nondescript and essentially unnecessary Basel Ideal Org, Mr. Miscavige’s future plans include spending time with his wog lawyers studying defenses to RICO.

10 responses to “Captain Miscavige Turns 55, Has Chinese in Hemet

  1. glad he is not an Aries, but a stubborn Taurus!

    Like

  2. whostolemycog

    Holotta Delusion? I knew her when she was still Hollatta Malarkey. It’s fitting that the two iconic Scientologly families of Malarkey and Delusion would unite.

    Like

  3. I wonder what his fortune cookie said. I know–“something around you is crumbling.”

    Like

  4. I understand that now that COB is official AARP material, he now likes his little blue night-time niacin pills more than ever. You know, the ones that may cause four hour cognitions. I’ve also heard through the grapevine that COB and Lou are calling each other Smoochie and Love Mutton, Can anyone confirm those pet names?

    Like

  5. Wagging tongues around Hemet say Holotta Delusion is COB’s new girl and that Lou has been sent off on an extended special assignment.

    Like

  6. Thank you for this. It was very funny.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s