A Googleplexion of New Scientologists!

Wog mathematician Dr. Stan Sharp had been hired to consult on numbers, specifically Church of Scientology “stat” numbers. COB, you see, needed a new set of PR numbers to publish.  As COB himself had said, “I need some new numbers with pizzazz!”

Dr. Sharp had been kept waiting for hours in the RTC Velvet Glo Room when suddenly, resplendent in a bold plaid leisure suit, COB burst in with his entourage of Sea Org goombahs and took his usual place of honor on the dark pink velvet sofa.

“What’s the biggest number ya got for me Doc?” asked COB David Miscavige.

“The biggest number with a name is a googleplexion.”

Mr. Miscavige glared at his subordinates. “This is why I need wog experts!

“All you buncha Psych SP’s could give me was 47X! What kinda number is 47X anyway!?”

“I tell ya: 47X is no kind of stat and we’re dropping it faster than Fox dropped Greta Van Susteren!”

“Danny!”  COB barked at Danny Sherman, “I want this here googleplexion number splashed all over the cover of the next edition of Source and everything  else we got. I want the entire world to know that there are a googleplexion of new Scientologists. How does that sound Doc?” COB asked the perplexed Dr. Sharp.

“Well, actually. Mr. Miscavige, there are not a googleplexion of people in the entire world nor can there ever be due to the infrastructure demands of….”

“Take your check and getoutta here! Get him outta here!” COB screamed. And with that Dr. Sharp was hustled off the property.  The Church of Scientology now had a googleplexion of new members who required an appropriate amount of new buildings, library sets, congresses, etc.

Moral of the Story: 47X ain’t cutting it with what we gotta pay wog lawyers!

3 replies »

  1. Love the necklace with the $cientology “S”….much more fashionnable than the ARC thingie…is it available in the gift shop?


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