Global Ecclesiastical and Religious Leader Diplomatic Credentials Now Available!

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The Flag of Drinkwater Island

The Principality of Drinkwater Island is issuing Diplomatic Credentials to global ecclesiastical and religious leaders.

This free service is provided to help global ecclesiastical and religious leaders in their vital and planetary-changing work.

Why do you need this important new free credential?

The answer is simple: If the authorities ever stop or challenge you or your religious group about any unsavory activities, brutality, harassment,  or money-hustling cons in which you are engaged, simply present your credentials while screaming self-righteously at the top of your lungs, “How dare you attack my religion! I am a global ecclesiastical and religious leader! Now get out my way or I will have to have my 191 attorneys sue you and order my followers make your life a living hell!”

This strategy has worked very well for the Church of Scientology and its leader for decades — and now it’s your turn to be a Scientology-like global ecclesiastical and religious leader!

Instructions: Add your name and photo to the Diplomatic Credentials. The font for adding your name is monotype corsiva.

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Armed with her new official credentials, Church of Scientology global ecclesiastical and religious leader Commander Jenny Linson of LAX Squadron 7 — aka JennyAtLAX — is now ready to engage hundreds of SP’s at LAX:

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Go for it JennyAtLAX!

12 responses to “Global Ecclesiastical and Religious Leader Diplomatic Credentials Now Available!

  1. Drinkwater’s Axiom On Insanity: Insane behavior suddenly becomes highly defensible, particularly in a court of law, when it is characterized as protected religious expression.

    For this reason, you should never leave home without your official Drinkwater Island global ecclesiastical and religious leader diplomatic credentials!

    Like

  2. Lionel Drinkwater’s helpful hints for global ecclesiastical and religious leaders: When staging large fundraising events for your religion, always be sure to include a dramatic background behind your elaborate podium.

    Ideally, your Nuremberg-Rally-like background should include various religious and occult symbols set between large phallic columns. A special blue backdrop is also needed to create the appearance that beams of light are emanating from your physical body.

    The “beams of light” effect is used to emphasize your divine effulgence and messianic importance as a global ecclesiastical and religious leader:

    Like

  3. Jenny has earned all the respect the Drinkwater Island Credential affords. Congrats Inch wife!

    Like

  4. Pingback: Global Ecclesiastical and Religious Leader Diplomatic Credentials Now Available! | JennyAtLAX

  5. “I think you’re being quite rude and quite insulting!”

    Commander JennyAtLAX Squadron 666

    (Geesh!)

    http://edition.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/1004/02/acd.01.html

    Like

  6. I have printed out my new credentials and have Moved Up In Status. Thanks!

    Like

  7. Pingback: Global Ecclesiastical and Religious Leader Diplomatic Credentials Now Available! | JennyAtLAX

  8. Thanks, OTVIIIisGrrr8! I now have an identity that could get me back in the good graces of Facebook (but I think not). Can the Principality of Drinkwater Island prepare a birth certificate for me, too?

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    • If Facebook refuses to accept your official global ecclesiastical and religious leader credentials then you need to scream loudly that they are attacking your religion. You can then scream that FB is “dark-sided.”

      Like

  9. There’s a !%#_+@! typo in my “Global Ecclesiastical and Religious Leader Diplomatic Credentials”!

    I want a %#!+}?/ refund!

    Or would that be a “repayment”? Or a “return of advance payment”? Would you have to Declare me a $uppressive Person first?

    The culprit: “appretaining.”

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    • JennyAtLAX, you have to admit that this error rate is extremely low for a contemporary Church of Scientology product. I asked COB to convene the RTC Board of Directors so that a motion could be made to re-issue a corrected version of this overt product. However, COB curtly informed me that there is no actual RTC Board of Directors nor has there ever been such a body in CST, RTC, and CSI.

      Due to this deplorable state of affairs, I have ordered my associate Dr. Swathmore to please see to it that a corrected copy of the document is posted on this blog in the next day or two. Dr. Swathmore assures me he will undertake this matter promptly after he finishes his forensic examination of certain arcane religious documents that may soon become very important.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. You write so eloquently, by the time I finished reading your statement, I almost felt embarrassed to have asked for a refund in the first place. And what a closing to your post: a veritable mystery sandwich!

    Like

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