COB’s birthday happens on April 30 and he expects heroic and monumental birthday gifts.
Accordingly, the ultra-elite COB RTC Birthday Police will be fanning out to all Orgs beginning this weekend to collect for COB’s 2014 birthday gift.
Sea Org members are ordered to voluntarily donate 95% of their weekly stipend to the COB Birthday Fund. In order to make this work properly, Sea Org pay will be increased to $1000 during the week the collection for COB’s birthday is taken.
The IAS is offering special mandatory COB Birthday Gift statuses as well.
$100,000: COB Birthday Gift Patron Extraordinaire
$500,000: COB Birthday Gift Patron Maximus
$5,000,000: COB Birthday Gift Patron Golden Meritorious With Stripes
$40,000,000: COB Birthday Gift Patron Bob Duggan Patron Maximus Platinum
Please dig deep: COB is counting on you! And yes, Scientology parishioners refusing to donate to COB’s Birthday Gift Fund will be declared SP’s.