Scientology Leader David Miscavige’s Urgent Emergency Briefing! Mandatory Viewing Ordered!

During his six-hour sermon at Sunday’s weekly church service, Scientology ecclesiastical leader David Miscavige heroically declared of himself, “I am as woke AF!

Mr. Miscavige then presented a highly confidential Power Point presentation which listed the 1,232 problems he cares about, and is working on solutions for, to prove his wokeness:

Please stand by as we are having technical difficulties loading COB’s presentation.

While you are standing by, the IAS has a dire emergency need for money to fight legal battles which threaten the very existence of Scientology and thereby imperil the eternities of all Scientologists. Please fill out this form and donate at least $10,000 to help COB during this time of planetary crisis.

1 reply »

  1. Wow, the actual donation form? Am I pleased to have never filled in one of these. It tickles me that the only optional field is one’s IAS membership number.

    No rush for COB’s 1232 problems, eh.

    Liked by 2 people

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