“In a revolutionary breakthrough for the ages,” said Dr. Ken Delusion, “New OT10 James Swope-Covington caustively dropped his body, died, and was pulled into an Afterlife Implanting Station on Mars!”
“Whereupon, he was able to photograph the interior of the implanting station using a special Mark 8 Ghost Camera which was developed by Scientology scientists working at Harrverd University.”
“The Ghost Camera captured an image which shows the Afterlife Implanting Matrix fluctuating wildly and hypnotically as it shot white balls containing implants into James Swope-Covington’s thetan.
“Fortunately, as an OT10 James was immune to the implanting techniques used in these Psych Implanting Stations. Therefore, after photographing the Psych chamber, James used his Scientology Super Powers to go back into his meat body and was no longer dead.”
“James Swope-Covington will be giving a special briefing on this Friday night at Flag in the Special Secret Briefing Room. James will be discussing the OTX-Only Technology which will safeguard all OTX completions against the Psych Afterlife Implanting Stations! Tickets to the special briefing are $5,000 and seats are limited. Call Flag now for a reservation!”
Stay tuned for a surprise, confidential briefing from Swope-Covington’s cousin, William Rass-Boombaclot…on unraveling the mysteries of the Farsecian Felch Facsimile…
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William Rass-Boombaclot’s handling of the Farsecian Felch Facsimile is one of the most guarded secrets in all of Scientology!
How was this vital dat-uh leaked to the interwebs?
Tell us Mark! Confess!
Tickets for the “Psych Afterlife Implanting Stations” special Flag-only briefing are $5,000? Man, oh, man! I’ll take two! Please book me two rooms at the Ft. Harrison: one for me, the other for my Body Thetans.