The United Chemtrail Workers (UCW) today announced that it is suing QAnon for making slanderous and libelous claims that chemtrails are spreading Covid.
“This is an outrage against the United Chemtrail Workers,” declared UCW President Bud Lupinsky. “We in the UCW are proud of the hard work we do in dispersing massive quantities of a wide variety of aerosols over the major population centers of the world. But we would never spread Covid or anything harmful.”
“The United Chemtrail Workers (UCW) disperse only aerosols that make people happy. Our XD3 aerosol, for example, contains aerosolized Xanax and Vitamin D3. This particular aerosol soothes anxiety while boosting the immune system. Government officials contract with the UCW to disperse XD3 before announcing bad news, tax increases, inflation, higher interest rates, etc.”
“And then there is our ‘Popular Pep‘ aerosol which contains a proprietary mixture of stimulants and microdoses of psychotropics designed to energize large crowds into the sort of patriotic frenzy we saw on January 6.”
“Popular Pep is ordered by private organizations and governmental agencies when large-scale mob frenzy is needed for religious revivals, uprisings, street protests, mob violence, patriotic insurrections, and so on. But Covid, no. We in UCW have very strict rules against making people sick. Indeed, the UCW needs a healthy population to spray in order to maintain our job security. UCW members are all fully masked and vaxxed!”
“UCW is tired of being slandered in social media and so we have sued QAnon to stop this sort of thing: