Having received information that the New York Times planned to publish its bombshell story this Sunday revealing that David Miscavige is a Communist agent who was sent into sabotage Scientology in 1976, Miscavige decided to get out ahead of the NYT story and tell the story himself.

“I was sent in by Moscow to destroy Scientology from within in 1976. The cover story that I was a 16 year-old high school dropout was a shore story,” Miscavige confessed. “My real name is Ivan Jerkinov and I was born in 1950 in Moscow. I trained as a deep cover agent at the KGB facility in Smolensk.

“Because I retained my youthful looks, the KGB selected me to penetrate Scientology’s Sea Org by posing as an ‘angry young man willing to do anything for Ron.’ Once I entered the Cine unit as Ron’s cameraman, I was — by use of secret mind control techniques and drugs — able to take control of L. Ron Hubbard’s mind. It was as simple as covertly spraying drugs into Hubbard’s Kool cigarettes which he chain-smoked. I also used NLP techniques on the old man. L. Ron Hubbard was quite susceptible to all this, particularly as he grew older and I was able to isolate him at his ranch in Creston.

“After seizing control of Hubbard’s mind, I had him appoint me to be Action Chief,” admitted Jerkinov. “As Action Chief, I began to seize the levers of power and take over all the bank accounts. I also made detrimental changes to the Tech. For example, I convinced Mr. Hubbard he was the Antichrist and had him write this in the original OTVIII course pack.

“I was scheduled to be sent back to Moscow in 1990 for further instructions when the Soviet Union suddenly collapsed. This left me a free agent. Therefore, I seized the reins of power in Scientology, purged my enemies in the Church, and decided to go all in and become a decadent Capitalist-Imperialist American cult leader. The temptation was just far too great for me to resist you see.

“The CIA was aware of my various machinations and unquenchable thirst for power and brutality as I had become a double-agent for the MK-Ultra Program in 1980. After Mr. Hubbard dropped his body, the CIA agreed to allow me to remain on as the leader of Scientology in exchange for allowing the MK-Ultra agents to continue to work on secret mind control programs in key positions within the Scientology technical hierarchy.

These MK-Ultra programs had been going on in Scientology since 1954. However, Mr. Hubbard paid them scant attention so long as he was paid large sums of tax-free cash and was kept safe from criminal charges due to his many wanton acts of madness and money laundering. The CIA left Mr. Hubbard free to create his disruptive Scientological OT super-psychic powers.

“As a condition of taking over the Church of Scientology, I agreed to secretly pay the CIA 25% of Scientology’s earnings to fund its covert “New Religious Movements” disinformation program which was, and still is, lead by a group of deviant Marxist scholars.

“One of the goals of the CIA’s NRM program was to convince the American public that brainwashing does not exist. This goal has not been successful as proven by the startlingly easy brainwashability of QAnon.

“This secret arrangement I made with the CIA and its MK-Ultra operatives explains why Scientology was able to get its scandalous IRS tax exemption in 1993,” admitted Ivan Jerkinov. “And yes, it is true, Meade Emory was my CIA handler for awhile after Mr. Hubbard’s demise. Equally true is the fact that the CIA dba CST dba the L. Ron Hubbard Library owns all of Scientology’s technology.

“And while I am confessing all of these things, I must also admit that the CIA took the real OT materials in 1972 for its exclusive use in remote viewing, astral projection, telekinesis and so forth. These real OT abilities are quite extraordinary. Conversely, the ‘OT levels’ in the Church of Scientology were watered down so that ‘exteriorization’ — which is actually nothing more than a simple NLP technique done under light hypnosis — became the central obsession of Scientologists.

“So there you have it,” concluded Ivan Jerkinov. “Scientology has been a CIA MK-Ultra program for many decades. We succeeded in fooling most of the people most of the time into thinking that Scientology was merely just another deranged and greedy American religious cult.”