National Geographic is selling what appears to be an innocent scientific experiment for young people.
“Build Your Own Volcano” the box declares as it lures young people to disaster!
The reality of this “young experimenter” kit is quite diabolical: The NatGeo Volcano box contains trillions of somnambulant dehydrated body thetans in the lava mix. “Just add water” the instructions say. This is when the deadly danger begins. The rehydrated body thetans suddenly come to life when the water is added by the the young experimenter.
Once the lava mix is inserted, the young experimenter activates the battery-powered pump to energetically expel the lava mix.
When the lava explodes into the air, the rehydrated body thetans become airborne, take to prevailing currents, and attach themselves to every human being within a 100 mile radius. With millions of these volcanoes sold globally through Amazon, the entire world will soon be engulfed in a tsunami of body thetans! This is exactly what Illuminatus Jeff Bezos wants.
The truth must be told: National Geographic is part of Psychiatry!
The only answer to this impending catastrophe is to buy the real answer to volcano-created disasters. To save the planet now, every man, woman, and child must purchase thousands of copies of Dianetics. We in Scientology have calculated that the sales of one billion copies of Dianetics in the next 30 days will, in fact, save the planet. To help save the planet, we in Scientology are offering a discounted price of $39.95 USD per book.
Alternatively, quickly drink two litres of Coca-Cola while swallowing a roll of Mentos mints, and then jump up and down vigorously.
You are evil beyond word and comprehension Dr. Strabismus of Utrecht.
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