Xenu is watching you on an omnipresent basis. Even when you sleep and dream Xenu is watching you for he never sleeps or dreams. You have good reasons to fear. You are […]
It Came From Outer Space
From BT’s to lava flows, volcanoes have been the bane of Scientology’s existence for 75 million years!
“From BT’s to lava flows, volcanoes have been the bane of Scientology’s existence for 75 million years.” — Dr. Ken Delusion, Nuclear Physicist. “So long as the MEST Universe, volcanoes, Targs, Marcabian Implanters, […]
Scientology Explains the NWO’s Plans for the Upcoming 2021 Christian Rapture Deception
Incident 3 of OT III: Xenu’s fleets of 747 spaceplanes are being readied to fly over the major cities of the world and emit 5G signal. The interaction of the 5G radiation […]
National Geographic Seeks to Destroy the World!
National Geographic is selling what appears to be an innocent scientific experiment for young people. “Build Your Own Volcano” the box declares as it lures young people to disaster! The reality of […]
NASA Rover Finds 75 Million Year Old Artifact on Mars
“The Perseverance rover was scouting the Marcabian between-lives implanting stations on Mars when it discovered a 75 million year old Scientology e-meter,” said NASA Rover Director Ken Delusion. “Follow the science,” Delusion […]
Xenu’s Cheerleaders
Xenu’s cheerleaders will do anything to keep the masses away from Scientology Orgs — particularly now that Mr. David Miscavige has completed his Herculean task of building and opening 15,708 Ideal Orgs […]
Xenu Arrested for DUI After Colliding With Santa Claus
“Xenu was 3x over the legal limit,” said State Trooper Rock Slammer. “Xenu didn’t even realize he had flown into Santa’s sleigh until we were handcuffing him at the scene for DUI.” […]
David Miscavige Injured in His Attempts to Save the World; Now Unable to Make Court Appearance
“Defendant Miscavige is not available for deposition,” explained Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “It seems COB needs a walker these days after he broke his back heroically piloting OTIX and OTX. The fifteen […]
The Time Xenu Escaped from His Electronic Mountain Prison!
Due to Scientology’s International Landlord Office forgetting to renew the annual maintenance contract, the eternal battery failed on Xenu’s electronic mountain prison. The force field having collapsed, Xenu fled incarceration, stole a […]
Secret Details of the Recent OSA Conspiracy Congress Meeting
“Scientology needs a new and better central conspiracy theory!” exclaimed Cult Leader Miscavige. “Our current story of Xenu capturing everyone, throwing them into volcanoes, and nuking them can’t possibly compete with the […]
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 