David Miscavige and Tom Cruise are the two biggest beings in the universe. As such, they must be protected at all costs from the Coronavirus. For this reason, the two world leaders departed for Scientology’s remote Trementina Base for an indefinite duration.
“We had to remove all of Mr. Hubbard’s scriptures on metal plates from the underground vault to make room for COB and TC and their entourage,” said Ken Delusion.
“As everything was done a hurry-hurry emergency basis, we used forklifts to toss Mr. Hubbard’s works into a gigantic pile outside next to the electrical shed. The high winds and snow won’t hurt the gold-plated stainless steel records. We plan on eventually moving these sacred scriptures into a warehouse in Albuquerque after the snow melts and the dirt road out of here dries out.”
“What’s important is that COB and TC are now in a safe environment where they can bathe in warmed hand sanitizer each hour.”
“Scientology OT’s are invited to take refuge on The Freewinds and use their OT postulates to remain safe.”
“Mr. Hubbard has been advised by telex to remain on Target 2 for the time being,” Delusion noted. “The message should reach him in 100 light years.”
Categories: OTVIIIisGrrr8!
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 
I think Ken Delusion is PTS to LRH. As a light-year is a measure of distance rather than time, he’s either dropping unsubtle hints to outside Agents of Chaos about just where Target 2 is, or demonstrating his less-than-perfect grasp of astro-physics. Either way, you of RTC should be on your guard!
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Ken Delusion thinks a “light year” is the time it takes for the lights in his office to go on once he flips the switch on. We have tried to explain to him what a light year actually is, to wit: The distance a thetan can travel in one thetan year which is 2.1 seconds. He does not understand.
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Is it factual to state the two most powerful Scientologists in this sector of the galaxy will be locked in a cave giving one another touch assists for the duration of the crisis? If so, my only other query is to inquire whether they’ll be clad in VM yellow vests?
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Yes, VESTS ONLY!
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Why don’t they retreat to a volcano?
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All the dormant volcano retreats were already purchased by real billionaires. Dave Miscavige is down to his last few billion and dropping.
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