“While cresting the edge of the Gale crater on Mars, NASA’s Curiosity rover was suddenly presented with a stunning view of an ancient and deserted Cult temple on Mars!,” announced NASA astroarcheologist Dr. Judy Roxxslammer. “This is extraordinary proof that intelligent life once existed on Mars!”
“Curiosity explored the main floor hallways of this strange temple and found few signs of wear and tear; this suggests the edifice was possibly never really inhabited. Perhaps it was a mausoleum, a tomb, or a monument to the vanity of the Cult leader? We don’t know.”
“Inside the main floor of the temple — which oddly resembles a railroad station from the 1950’s — Curiosity discovered many brass humanoid statues, several of which were ascending a spiral staircase to nowhere. These statues are, apparently, the deities worshiped by the Martian Cult.”
“Inscriptions and symbols are seen on the walls of the main floor of the temple. A double staircase is also on the main floor. But where do the stairs lead? Curiosity cannot climb stairs and so some future mission will need to explore the upper floors of this ancient Martian temple.”
“Dozens of examples of a strange fossilized device were found in and about the temple grounds. These devices appear to have been electrical in nature. Were these devices used by the Cult in some unknown electro-ritual; perhaps to commune with the bronze deities in the temple? Again, we just don’t know,” said Dr. Roxxslammer.
“In the two square mile area around the Martian Cult Temple are seen the ruins of roadways and the foundations of over two hundred buildings. Photos taken by Curiosity clearly show tooling marks left by chisels, jackhammers, bulldozers, and even the evidence of detonation blasts. It appears that the infrastructure of what was once a great city surrounding the temple was deliberately razed to the ground by the Martian Cultists.”
“Whatever this Martian Cult was altogether,” Dr. Roxxslammer solemnly intoned, “they appear to have been a savage, hostile, and destructive group that valued their secrecy above all else!”