Little Benjie Witt’s  mother Bonnie — an OT III — walked into the living room to find Benjie on the floor “playing” with the television remote control. Benjie had turned the television to Leah Remini’s show.

“This was Benjie’s attempt to expose his mother to Black PR,” explained Ken Delusion. “Benjie, you see, is actually a trillion year old evil space alien thetan in a baby body. We know this for a fact because Benjie refuses to pick up the cans of the e-meter for a sec check. Only a criminal with evil purposes would refuse a sec check. This little deadbeat has a lot to hide!”

Angered that this Marcab freeloader constantly demands to be fed and diapered at all hours of the day and night while offering nothing in exchange, Bonnie and her husband Durwood, also an OT III, have decided to sell the impostor. “Childless wogs will pay $50,000 on the black market for a healthy baby body like this one,” said Delusion. “And that $50,000 will pay for Bonnie and Durwood’s next IAS Patron status.”

“This is truly a win-win in which two OT’s get to offload a wholetrack Psych implanter onto some unsuspecting wogs while increasing their IAS Status. Now that’s what you call Scientology in action,” Delusion chuckled.