* Do you like smoking cigarettes and lots of them? We do too! So does COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige! So did L. Ron Hubbard!

* Do you like the idea of smoking cigarettes while working for a billion years to clear the planet? We do too! So does COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige! So did L. Ron Hubbard!

Now you can have the best of both worlds by joining the Sea Org One Billion Year Smoking Club! Benefits include a bunk, rice and beans, and a theater usher uniform! Plus you get to be in a fake Navy! Applications now being accepted! Past LSD use is no longer a problem! In fact, if you have a pulse and can walk you’re welcome to the Sea Org!

Scientology + Heavy Cigarette Smoking = Thetan Satisfaction!