Scientology OTX Test Run Goes Terribly Wrong

“Due to a catastrophic malfunction of the OTX Eye Injector at Flag Land Base, the pilot run of OTX went terribly wrong,” said Flag Medical Director Dr. Ken Delusion.

“While we at Flag regret this malfunction and the inconvenience it has caused  our volunteer Mr. Victor Volpe-Suarez of the Tampa Org, we can all take comfort in the fact that there are plenty more Flag rejects at the Tampa Org we can experiment on until we get this darned thing right. OTX will be debugged and eventually released no matter how many Tampa publics it takes,” emphasized Dr. Delusion.

4 responses to “Scientology OTX Test Run Goes Terribly Wrong

  1. I might suggest that you spray everything down with WD-40 and move your Vice Grip about two inches back on the hydraulic shaft. Keep some duct tape nearby and fresh ice cubes in all beverages. Sometimes, replacing the 40 watt bulbs with 100’s lets you see what you’re doing. It doesn’t hurt to empty the ashtrays once in a while too. Good luck and ML.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Since this is not a medical procedure, but a religious sacrament there is absolutely no possibility of a malpractice lawsuit, praise COB. In fact, the contract signed by Mr. Volpe-Suarez specifies he must go back to the basics and begun a new journey back up the bridge to try OTX again…that is, assuming he survives his horrific injuries.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Reminds me of my cataract surgeries Scientology Style! 💛💛. That OT8!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Everyone needs to re-do their OTX. At their own expense. And buy new versions of books, without punctuation errors. And praise DM as “dear leader”.

    Liked by 1 person

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