During his recent meeting with Dr. Dick Dooley, the Third Undersecretary of the Dewey Decimal Oversight System for the UN, COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige demanded that Scientology books be shelved in both the Science and Religion sections of all libraries in the entire world.
COB further demanded that all books attacking the Church of Scientology be taken off all library shelves globally and burned for containing so many vicious lies written by bitter defrocked apostates and journalists in the employ of the pharmaceutical companies whose “feel good” pills sell trillions of dollars each year while Scientology is forced to limp by with a just a few billion dollars and a real estate portfolio of underutilized buildings that, if all entheta could be destroyed, would be booming. “The peoples of Earth naturally clamor for Scientology. However, their natural urge to reach for our copyrighted $360,000 body of OT Super Powers has been unnaturally and criminally blunted by the forces of suppression,” stated Mr. Miscavige.
Dr. Dooley refused COB’s request. It was thereafter discovered that Dr. Dooley is connected to elements in London’s criminal underworld who are in the employ of the Royal Family, i.e. the Reptilian Shapeshifters who secretly control the world by, among other things, subtly manipulating the Dewey Decimal System globally so that books are not shelved in their proper categories libraries.
“It’s not just misunderstood words,” said Church spokesman Ken Delusion, “it is rather that entire bodies of knowledge are misunderstood because they have not been aligned to Scientology which is senior to life itself and therefore aligns all bodies of knowledge to the dynamic principle of existence which is this: Stats are due each Thursday at 2:00 PM, and, stats must increase each week ad infinitum if one wishes to avoid ecclesiastical beatings and the RPF.”
“The answer is clear,” said Mr. Delusion, “the IAS must immediately raise $750,000,000 to fight the Psych operatives who have very cleverly and covertly manipulated the Dewey Decimal System globally.”
“The corruption of the Dewey Decimal System is the ‘why’ that explains why all 122,512 LRH Basics libraries Scientologists donated were stolen from library shelves by agents of SMERSH, thrown by psych-drugged librarians into library dumpsters, sold for $15.00 at library sales, or dumped into the plastics recycling bins of libraries. It was all an appalling crime against humanity and the universe itself.”