Desperate to recruit new members, Scientology Orgs are now offering visitors the best, biggest, and most deluxe burger in the universe: The COB Royale With Cheese.
The RTC-approved COB Royale With Cheese features a thirty pound hamburger patty, fifty slices of sharp cheddar cheese, one pint of thousand island dressing, and sliced tomatoes and onions. The bun is fresh baked at the Golden Era Bakery, home of the famous fresh breads, cakes, pies, and pastries the Sea Org is served each day. French fries, onion rings, and soft drinks with unlimited refills are also included with your Scientology Happy Meal.
Your COB Royale With Cheese is served hot and fresh off the grill after you finish watching the film Orientation and talking to Scientology counselors and Sea Org recruiters for three hours or more.
Those who are already Scientologists have even more to feast on with the newly created Super St. Hill Sized IAS Patron Meritorious With Cheese. Weighing in at 400 pounds, this $35,000 OT-sized burger comes with a free Basics library! How can you lose?!