Evil galactic spacelord Xenu has been located today in Hemet, California. Posing as the ecclesiastical leader of Scientology, the cosmic tyrant is considered mentally unhinged and dangerous.
Citizens are warned not to approach Xenu nor to fall prey to his rose-scented blandishments in which he promises the gullible Super Powers in exchange for large sums of money. Should they spot Xenu, citizens are asked to call the California Rogue Spacelord Control Bureau.
Xenu is believed to have escaped from his electronic mountain prison with the aid of an accomplice named of Tom Cruise. The two guh-lactic felons were last seen disguised as New Age swamis: