“Operation Rescue Tom Cruise” Announced by Oprah Winfrey Network


“Between Leah Remini’s Troublemaker and Alex Gibney’s Going Clear the spotlight on Scientologist Tom Cruise has become far too intense,” declared Church of Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion.

Tom Cruise is freaking out and is begging for Oprah’s help. Tom is trapped at the scene of an accident and only Oprah can help.”

“As she has done before, it’s time once again for Oprah to launch Operation Rescue Tom Cruise! and toss the actor some softball questions in an interview suffused by the rosy light produced by Rosco #02 bastard amber.”

“Thankfully, Oprah Winfrey is deaf, dumb, and blind when it comes to Scientology’s outrages. In other words, she is a useful wog,” chuckled Delusion.


3 replies »

  1. I’m concerned that softball questions might prove too difficult for Tom at this very trying time in his life. Toddler nerf-ball questions might be more suitable. Can Oprah dial her game down to that level?

    Liked by 2 people

    • I don’t think TC has enough ‘confront’ left to hit a nerf ball. He’ll actually have to use a real stunt man to pull that off. I suggest he just take a trophy for ‘participation’. I might be able to handle t-ball.


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