Faith and Money are the two pillars upon which the Church of Scientology is forever established.

Our members have faith and we have their money.

This is true.

As a labyrinthine series of mocked up religious corporations within an equally labyrinthine mocked up MEST universe, the Church of Scientology is as legally tenuous and unaccountable as possible, and yet the Church itself is forever established and eternal in the heavens.

And way up high at the summit of the Bridge, the top leader of the Church must invariably become translucent and disappear with the money in hand into  bluebird land; this to vouchsafe the money into safe and imperishable vaults wherein wog authorities cannot intrude to lay hold of and seize said funds.

The true Church can never cease to exist; and so it follows that the true Church can never become financially insolvent.  Granted, the Church’s corporate forms will come and go in their turn; and although these forms may go bankrupt on paper, our Special Directors will ensure that their corpus will easily slide and reincarnate into a maze of mocked up new forms.

To always stay one step ahead of wog law is our stable datum.

And so it is that while the Church’s human leaders will come and go in their turn; and although they may be accused of, charged with, or convicted of crimes, this too is all ephemeral and passes away.

What remains imperishable in the heavens are the twin pillars of Faith and Money upon which the Church of Scientology is forever fixed. We have given you a sacred duty and trust to forever hold high and aloft the bright torch of faith; we will help you by forever holding and keeping your money.