A shocking new study released today by Dr. Dirk Duchebaag, RTC Inspector General for Economic Losses, shows the real costs of suppression to all of the churches in the ecclesiastical hierarchy of Scientology churches, missions, and social betterment groups.
“The economic losses due to suppression for 2015 (year to date) is a staggering $1.896 quadrillion dollars,” declared Dr. Duchebaag.
“COB has therefore assigned the entire Church the Ethics condition of CONFUSION. COB has not assigned himself this condition because he knows exactly where is at and that is POWER.”
“RTC studies have conclusively shown the internet to be the ‘Gateway to Suppression’ and the subsequent economic losses to the Church.”
“Therefore, COB has issued a new policy that any Scientologist caught using the internet without the express written permission of we in RTC will have their left hand chopped off by the Office of Special Affairs for the first offense.”
“This time-honored and proven religious technology of chopping the hands off the guilty works well in Muslim countries and COB is sure it will work well in the Church of Scientology. Moreover, Scientologists have pulled this harsh Ethics action in on themselves and have no one to blame but themselves.”
“COB is also considering public beheadings every Thursday at 2:00 PM at all Ideal Orgs for those Scientologists who fail to regularly increase their IAS status,” Dr. Duchebaag ominously added.