The Church of Scientology and Provable Bullshit

Church of Scientology spokesperson Karin Pouw

Church of Scientology spokesperson Karin Pouw

We in RTC wish to comment upon Church spokesman Karin Pouw’s  reply to scurrilous allegations that Captain  David Miscavige told two private investigators to not intervene and allow his father to die if the elder Miscavige appeared to be dying: “If he dies, he dies,” Captain Miscavige allegedly said to the PI’s.

In refuting this outrage, Ms. Pouw emphasized this point:

So let me be clear: No such conversation with Mr. Miscavige ever took place and any claim that one did is provable bullshit.

Through Scientology spokesman Karin Pouw, then, Captain Miscavige has made a definitive ecclesiastical statement for the ages about the Church of Scientology and  bullshit:

  • There is provable bullshit
  • There is unprovable bullshit

We in RTC hereby order the media to follow Captain Miscavige’s new ecclesiastical ruling on the Church of Scientology and bullshit. Rather than simply reprinting what some Scientology-hating-generality-infested-journalist or bitter defrocked apostate has said about the Church or Captain Miscavige, we demand to review all allegations. We will then respond as follows:

  • Where an allegation is provable bullshit we will say so
  • Where an allegation is unprovable bullshit we will note that as well

We in RTC realize that the Church of Scientology throwing around the term “bullshit” in such a hostile and public manner is not very professional; in fact it is quite offensive and vulgar. Nevertheless, that is how we roll bitches.

In happier news, Scientology Media Productions is almost ready to go live and begin broadcasting complete bullshit 24/7/365.

13 responses to “The Church of Scientology and Provable Bullshit

  1. Now I am very interested, but how will I be able to suscribe to said “complete bullshit” will I need a new complete bullshit detecting sat dish or an upgrade of bullshit internet connection, and an upgraded bullshit virus filter, I assume the Church will “come to the party” so to say if cost is a factor?

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  2. lmao

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  3. I can’t wait for SMP to go live and broadcast the truth for all who are able to confront it! Those SPs and wogs will scatter like roaches in the sun, and a New Civilization ™ will rise! Entheta beware, the cavalry has arrived!!

    Dauntless, defiant, insouciant, theta will prevail!

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  4. Scurrilous allegations? Say not so!
    Does this mean that Captain Miscavige’s PR area control is slipping?
    Will he have time to mount a campaign to “Save the Whales”?

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    • Captain Miscavige’s PR area control is flubless and this is why he enjoys such wide acclaim. Indeed, the masses flock to see Captain Miscavige when he gives an audience. During his recent visit to Switzerland to perform his annual blessing and audit of his Swiss bank accounts, over 30,000,000 Swiss people clamored to see the Scientology Pontiff.

      By way of Captain Miscavige’s “give them bread and circuses” approach to managing Scientology, he gave a speech and then cut the ribbon on the new Basel Ideal Org. After that, he skipped town with dozens of suitcases stuffed with urgently needed monies.

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  5. I am in possession of what I believe to be bullshit. To make sure I have not been given horseshit or dogshit, can I dump it at the Gold Base front gate to have it proven? I can put it in smaller non-descript brown paper bags and throw it over the fence, but I’m afraid it might get hung up on the inward facing spikes. What would be the best way to handle this? (I mean besides wearing rubber gloves.) Basically, how do I get my bullshit to COB?

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    • A reader asks:

      “How do I get my bullshit to COB?”

      We reply by asking if it’s proveable or unprovable bullshit. If it is provable as you claim, please write a KR to RTC and we will reply within 80-120 months, or, within 4-6 weeks of you finishing your Super Power Rundown and then attesting Clear within 12 months thereafter. Please be sure to include a $40,000 “No Bullshit” real money donation to the IAS with your KR. Of course, you will need to complete a CSW and have it signed off before writing your KR on your own time.

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    • The proper “tech” would be to place said bullshit in the paper bag, ser the bag at the doorstep of the flag office front door, light the bag on fire, ring the doorbell, and the run like hell to observe the examination of the bag by DM at a safe distance…..LOL

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  6. She is an expert at bullshit, so it is a professional opinion.

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  7. Pingback: Introduction to the Scientology Knowledge Report | OTVIIIisGrrr8!

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