“The time is now people,” said Thetan Commander Tom Cruise of Scientology Zeta RTC Corps VIII. “Scientology is under attack by the Marcabian Implanter Forces of A&E and its Scientology and the Aftermath show!”
Scientology’s Bridge is in ruins because of Scientologists who are spectators. These pantywaisted dilettantes natter online and read deadly and forbidden blog#2 and the very deadly and forbidden blog #1!
Scientologists must grab their e-meters and prepare to do war with Wogdom. Scientologists are the superior race. The wogs look upon our e-meters with fear and trembling:
Categories: OTVIIIisGrrr8!
OTVIIIisGrrr8! 
I shall counter Commander Cruise’s offensive by mounting a “make friends with your body thetans” campaign. Someone has to do it…
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I knew it! Scientology is the one true religion, and I’m screwed for being a PTS, SP, Wog, going straight down & curved. It’s probably too late for an A-E. Doomed! Woe is me!!!! Is there a pole I can run around! I’m desperate here. … Yeah, no.
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In this, man’s darkest hour, let us all ask Jesus to wash away our body thetans. All Hail Lord Gob of Snout!!!
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Marcabian forces are mobilizing to free the imprisoned warlord Xenu, also pronounced Xemu. This petiton must be stopped at all costs
http://wh.gov/iZ8Qf
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I am contacting you from my theta bunker built out of the 20 pallets of unsealed Basics books that were in my garage. My neighbors were glad to help seal me in. I have it stocked with 200 pounds of rice and beans and 30 gallons of water. I secretly ran an extension cord for electricity from my neighbor’s house since mine was shut off months ago, but I forgot to bring anything to cook with. I’ve been in my bunker since 6pm on 3/29 and I’m waiting for the word that it is safe to come out.
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