“The time is now people,” said Thetan Commander Tom Cruise of Scientology Zeta RTC Corps VIII. “Scientology is under attack by the Marcabian Implanter Forces of A&E and its Scientology and the Aftermath show!”
Scientology’s Bridge is in ruins because of Scientologists who are spectators. These pantywaisted dilettantes natter online and read deadly and forbidden blog#2 and the very deadly and forbidden blog #1!
Scientologists must grab their e-meters and prepare to do war with Wogdom. Scientologists are the superior race. The wogs look upon our e-meters with fear and trembling:
I shall counter Commander Cruise’s offensive by mounting a “make friends with your body thetans” campaign. Someone has to do it…
I knew it! Scientology is the one true religion, and I’m screwed for being a PTS, SP, Wog, going straight down & curved. It’s probably too late for an A-E. Doomed! Woe is me!!!! Is there a pole I can run around! I’m desperate here. … Yeah, no.
In this, man’s darkest hour, let us all ask Jesus to wash away our body thetans. All Hail Lord Gob of Snout!!!
Marcabian forces are mobilizing to free the imprisoned warlord Xenu, also pronounced Xemu. This petiton must be stopped at all costs
I am contacting you from my theta bunker built out of the 20 pallets of unsealed Basics books that were in my garage. My neighbors were glad to help seal me in. I have it stocked with 200 pounds of rice and beans and 30 gallons of water. I secretly ran an extension cord for electricity from my neighbor’s house since mine was shut off months ago, but I forgot to bring anything to cook with. I’ve been in my bunker since 6pm on 3/29 and I’m waiting for the word that it is safe to come out.