Williams knows that Scientology’s proven ability to handle crisis PR is vital if he is to save his career and reputation.
“Williams main problem is that he is apologizing to his critics instead of finding and exposing their crimes,” said Church spokesman Ken Delusion.
“In Scientology we never apologize, especially when we get caught telling the sort of big whopping lies of which we are so fond. Apologies are weak pantywaisted behavior we call ‘propitiation’ and we hate propitiation,” Delusion emphasized. “In Scientology we always attack the attacker. We never defend!”
“The key out point here, “Delusion noted, “is Williams’ failure to savagely attack his critics. Williams has not created even one single hate website designed to smear his opponents as pedophiles, felons, prostitutes, liars, embezzlers, drug dealers, haters, and murderers. For example, we in the Church of Scientology just did a hatchet job on Alex Gibney and HBO that was very effective in telling our side of the story.”
“Williams needs to claim that he is being attacked because he was about to present irrefutable evidence that the Pentagon is secretly behind the spraying of Psych-drug laden chemtrails on US cities. Williams needs to say that this Obama-ordered atrocity is being done to weaken and enslave America, destroy our children, and take away our guns, e-meters, and freedom!”
“Frankly,” Delusion stated, “the only hope for Williams is to join the Church of Scientology, buy himself a few intensives of life repair, do his TR’s, and then go Fair Game the shit out of his enemies with the help of OSA.”