Scientology Leader Speaks at Sundance Film Festival; Offers Crime Victims Free DVD



Speaking today from the Sundance Film Festival, Scientology global ecclesiastical leader Captain David Miscavige reached out to crime victims with the offer of a free DVD.

“If you have been the victim of a crime,” Captain Miscavige said, “this free Scientology DVD explains how, for as little as $800,000, Scientology can help you locate the hidden source of all human aberrations.”

“This DVD is free,” declared Captain Miscavige, “but Scientology is not. But then again what price can you put on finding the answer to the 75,000,000 year old catastrophe that holds this sector of the galaxy captive to unseen forces?”

“Drop by your nearest Scientology Ideal Org today for the free DVD and a free personality test. And now I have the pleasure of introducing Scientogist Tom Cruise speaking on why it’s an honor to call yourself a Scientologist.”

“Take it away Tom!”

10 replies »

  1. Until Utah comes to its senses and seeks the mercy of the Church, its only terminal is the International Justice Chief and its next actions would be steps A-E as outlined in HCO PL 23 Dec 65 RA SUPPRESSIVE ACTS SUPPRESSION OF SCIENTOLOGY AND SCIENTOLOGISTS.

    Unfortunately Mr Ellis is very busy at present writing refund cheques for unused services and erroneously cashed donations and his terminal mode will not be active again until at least August 2047.



    • We in RTC checked our records and found that “Mike Ellis” is a former low-ranking Sea Org member, a clerk, who routed out several years ago. As we understand the matter, the current and actual IJC is Captain Tupolev of the Vladivostok Ideal Org.

      However, Tupolev is only in his office one day every other week. This is normally on alternate Tuesdays; however it may also be any other day allowed by Church bylaws. As we in RTC have nothing to do with the Church, even we do not know what the other allowed days are under the bylaws.

      As there is no money in the Vladivostok Ideal Org to fix the telex, the only practical way to reach Tupolev is to travel to Vladivostok with your various petitions and write ups and wait for him to appear at his office. He will send a runner for you when he is ready to see you. Just wait outside the Org down the street on the old wooden bench near the bus stop. We don’t want downstats like you to be seen anywhere near Church property so you must wait down the street. Failure to abide by this rule will result in a beating by Church officials and a second SP declare.

      IJC Captain Tupolev.


  2. “a second SP declare” …. only his holiness Commander Miscavige would have the tenacity and persistence to have finally uncovered that missing key piece of “ethics tech” left behind by Hubbard years ago. It makes so much sense and would explain why there are so many people who used to be Scientologists who are now declared SP’s but have not started an A to E program. A 2nd SP Declare would finally acknowledge the State of True Whole Track SP. (Scholars have recognized these truly dangerous beings and warned society by giving them written declarations to warn the general public, “”Psychologists” “Masters”, “PHD’s” “IRS” FBI, JFK” etc, but their reign of terror has continued despite the fact of these certificates are only HALF ACKS. . Thank goodness Commander David Miscavige has finally returned to full use, Hubbards missing “ethics gradient tech” which will also help these true SP’s cognite as to who and what they really are, resulting in their release and departure towards real freedom and the ability to donate to the IAS, as each and every step on the NEW GAT II version of “A to E” formula now provides (requires). Miscarriage in his brilliance has also fully instituted long missing “donate tech” and it is now incorporated in every phase of Scientology Administration, resulting in straight up and vertical growth. It took the guts and tenacity of a REAL pit bull Scientologist like David Miscavige to finally confront the last Wall of Fire that has been holding Scientologists back, and with the Release of DONATE TECH!!!!!! Scientology is enjoying unheralded expansion. If there is any doubt, one only needs to remember that in the past that Commander David Miscavige alone was responsible for “Six Month Check Tech”, and “Arbitraries Cancelled” tech and reinstitution the lost tech of “Fair Game”.


    • Dr. Strabismus, COB felt so revitalized after session with you and your, ahh, whimsically brutal and very strange nurse, that he went straight up and vertical in his renewed purpose to open Ideal Orgs. Whereupon, he purchased $50,000,000 worth of Berber carpet to increase his havingness and reality on Orgs. The carpeting is now stacked up to the ceilings in the new Ideal Org Carpet Storage Facility, formerly the Super Power Building.


      • There might be some parsimonious ingrates who consider $5,000 expensive for shipping and handling but let them scream.

        The value of the DVD is inestimable and will likely ensure one’s eternity.

        I shall order another copy and hope it includes the powerful Ornamentation movie with the mellifluous voice of Larry Anderson which was so successful in introducing many to Ron’s planet saving tech.



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