Acting as covert agents of the CIA, Psychiatry, and the Deep State, Scientology’s lethal UFO forces conquered Syria and deposed Assad.

“This is incredible but true,” declared Scientology Cosmic Space General Ken Delusion. “The reality is that we in Scientology secretly run the world and our word is law!”

“The fact that Scientology’s feared UFO forces easily conquered Syria and toppled the Assad regime prove just how powerful Scientology is in real life. Indeed, after defeating Xenu and his renegades 75 million years ago, Syria was a walk in the park for Scientology,” remarked General Delusion.

“New OTVIII Recep Erdoğan of Türkiye has vowed to support we in Scientology as Syria is renamed and becomes the new country of Miscavigestan.”

“L. Ron Hubbard now has a safepointed Scientology country to which he can finally return from Target 2!”

“OTIX and OTX will become a reality in the planned Super Ideal Org in Miscavigestan!” enthused General Delusion.

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Scientology UFO’s have ceased fire and are air-dropping copies of The Way to Happiness across the length and breadth of Miscavigestan.

All citizens of Miscavigestan are expected to read, memorize, and practice the tenets contained The Way to Happiness. Failure to do so will result in prompt execution.

Any and all forms of Unhappiness will not be tolerated in Miscavigestan.