Scientology’s Wizard-Level Toilet Replacement Skills Amazes the Experts!

The toilet in a guest room at Flag was not flushing! Something had to be done about it and now! An expert plumbing crew was called in. Along with other experts from Flag’s own maintenance staff, the toilet was carefully inspected.

The experts made the strategic decision to replace the toilet. A highly skilled process was involved whereby the old toilet was carefully removed from its mountings using a special tool called a wrench to loosen the nuts which held the toilet in place. This had to be performed precisely to avoid stripping any threads from the floor bolts.

Another crucial decision was taken by the experts: A new wax toilet gasket was needed as was a new water supply line. This had to be done with surgical precision with nothing left to chance.

‘I’ve never seen such skill,’ said a noted international Canadian expert in toilet replacement. The Scientology crew at Flag held the tolerances on the new toilet to within 1/1000 of an inch per the international specifications for wax seal replacement. This was true old world craftsmanship!’

The toilet was replaced in record time and was found to be in perfect working order per HCOPL 28 June 1974 The 27 Point Toilet Replacement Checklist.

“The first manned live test of the new toilet proceeded flawlessly,” said Mr. Bud Lupinsky, CO of Flag Faucets, Toilets, and Bidets. “The speed of particle flow was impressive,” Mr. Lupinsky noted. “The toilet was declared fully operational and returned to active duty status within five hours of the ‘Things That Shouldn’t Be‘ report being submitted.

“We at Flag must thank COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige for the 100% support he gave us to handle this enmested situation fast. Unlike shabby operations elsewhere, we handle plumbing problems with superhuman speed in Scientology!”

When major hotels and hotel chains heard of this Flag accomplishment, they rushed their representatives to inspect the flawless toilet replacement work. The UN also sent representatives to see the new global standard in toilet replacement established by Scientology.

“The gleaming new porcelain toilet worked flawlessly on the first use and is expected to have a useful service life of many years,” Mr. Lupinsky stated.

3 replies »

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.