David Miscavige Sues Pope Francis For Infringing Upon Scientology’s Copyrighted “Ecclesiastical Beating” Technology

Claiming he had copyrighted “Ecclesiastical Beatings” and “Papal Slaps”, Scientology leader David Miscavige sued Pope Francis for infringement today in the World Religious Court.

“Mr. Miscavige is asking for $500 million in damages and an apology from the Catholic Pontiff,” said RTC attorney Heinrich Leibermann.

Mr. Miscavige also showed the media how to deliver a proper ecclesiastical beating by repeatedly slugging one of his woebegone RTC underlings. “That’s how you properly discipline a miscreant,” said Mr. Miscavige. “None of that Nancyboy slapping like Pope Francis did when he stole my copyright religious beating tech!”

5 replies »

  1. Captain Miscavige is quite right in suing the alleged leader of this insignificant, so-called religion.

    “If we let them get away with copyright infringements the next thing will be these scoundrels reading out the confidential OT Level secrets at their Mass or whatever they call it.” thundered Monsignor Ken Delusion, Grand Inquisitor of the First Church of Ron the Redeemer.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Captain David Miscavige, Chairman of the Bored RTC carried on saying that Pope Francis showed weakness for apologising for ecclesiastical discipline, he was heard to say on Scientology TV “I Captain David Miscavige Chairman of The Bored RTC never will apologise for ecclesiastical discipline, I’m sorry but that’s just who I am….”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Not only is Pope Francis’ ecclesiastical beating offbeat, it’s completely OUT-TECH !!!
    Absolutely didn’t deliver the ecclesiastical beating EP: Complete Obedience.
    No wonder why the Catholic Church is undergoing a dwindling spiral towards complete oblivion, when it’s supreme leader thinks he can get away with his out-tech, by just giving a lame public apology:
    “so many times we lose patience. Me, too.” He then added, “I say ‘excuse me’ for the bad example.”
    The World Religious Court should issue a “Report to Qual via Ethics” RTC-routing-form, immediately following sentence in court.
    This is the only hope for mankind to become an OT-civilization.


  4. I’m so glad that this video was brought to the world’s attention. It just goes to show that a fake religious leader like the so called Pope is just a pussy when it comes to ecclesiastical discipline. I think the same could be said for the Dali Lama too. Weak sauce in the discipline dept. Real religious leaders like L. Ron ‘Chain Locker’ Hubbard and David ‘Kung Fu Fightin’ Miscavige know how to get the job done and done right. They just don’t put up with any namby-pamby panty waist shit. Do you see these other leaders eliminating their 2D terminals in creative ways? No. LRH didn’t blink an eye when he threw Mary Sue under the bus. Same with DM. He just did a quieter (but just as effective) job of it when he sent Shelly off on that long “vacation”.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. “Beatings by COB” is more than a copyright — it is a registered trademark of the criminal cult of Scientology. Also the slogan: Tiny Man, Big Fists is trademarked as well!

    Liked by 1 person

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