Scientology Space Admiral Miscavige rocketed to Target 2 today in search of the missing OT levels 9-15.

“L. Ron Hubbard took OT levels 9-15 with him when he dropped his body and went to T2,” Miscavige complained. “The problem is that Ron sold all of the Tech to the Church for $86 million and we own these levels. We need OT 9-15 if Scientology is to keep growing! We demand that Ron keep his exchange in with the Church! We want what we paid for!”

A Loyal Officer on T2 disputed Space Admiral Miscavige’s claim. “The $86 million was a 1% deposit on OT 9-15. And as soon as Dave pays Ron the balance owing on the $8.6 billion, he can have these ultra-advanced levels. Until we receive that money Dave can keep selling his IAS trophies and the other gimmicks he peddles to keep the cash flowing in.”

“Ron left the Church Scientology in great shape but Dave has really goofed the floof! Frankly, Ron wants Dave sent to the SP Hole for being the continuing problem creator he is!”