Obituary: Justin Bieber (1994-2019)

Justin Bieber, 25, of Upstate New York, Canada, succumbed to injuries he suffered in the octagon during a sanctioned fight with actor Tom Cruise, 89, of Clearwater, Florida.

“It was the 1,000 yard OT Death Stare,” said Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion. “OT’s can kill with a glance. OT’s don’t like to use this power publicly anymore than they like to knock fedoras off people’s heads at 50 feet. But after Mr. Bieber foolishly and publicly challenged Tom Cruise to a fight it was matter of honor.”

“Justin Bieber’s thetan is presently at the between-lives implanting station on Mars,” Delusion noted.

“Let this be a warning to anyone who challenges Scientology: There are dreadful consequences!”

3 replies »

  1. OT8isGreat Indeed! I mean how Cool is it that he knows The Death Stare! And it goes 1,000 yards. So OTs can kill at a glance, then I have passed over one billion times ! Love you #8 🌹🌹

    Liked by 1 person

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