After Conquering the Nation of Islam, Scientology leader David Miscavige Sets His Sights on Costco


Having conquered the Nation of Islam, Scientology ecclesiastical leader now wants all Costco shoppers to become Scientologists.

Therefore, a special $2,500 Dianetics Starter Kit — which includes a pair of binoculars to spy on your so-called family and friends — is being offered at all Costco locations.

“Paranoia, greed, and revenge are virtues,” Miscavige told Costco denizens as he enjoyed a $1.50 polish dog and diet coke at the Costco food court in Hemet.

4 replies »

  1. COB might have a few disgusting DB detractors, but even those wog scum and bitter defrocked apostates have to hand it to our supreme leader. This is an absolute brilliant move (yet again) on Capt’n Miscavige’s part!!! Just think of the possibilities!!! Costco sized crates of goldenrod. Costco sized tanks of RTC approved Purif vitamins. Costco sized TV screens in the electronics section to play Scientology TV as their display choice. Costco sized trophies for those special shoppers who make substantial donations to the Church of Scientology, Church of Scientology approved shadowy front groups and the IAS. A handy Costco liquor section stocked with Costco sized kegs of Macallans scotch so us regular Little Beings can emulate COB.
    Plenty of rack storage/display for the ever increasing demand for the Hubbard Quantum Mark Super VIII Easybake Electropsycometers. A built in bookstore with a special LRH only section. Those ever popular Costco Café 150s so the OSA/PI/lawyer types can get a decent meal at bargain prices and not deplete their Sea Org pay at some wog based fast food joint. A special place for IAS regs to stand at every exit to make sure that credit cards(Co$) were properly maxed out in a Costco sized way. The list could go on and on, you don’t have to M-7 Word Clear this post to get the idea! Bottom line, this is a win-win for everyone!!! Hip, Hip wHore-ayyyy for COB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    PS The Costco Big Pharma section will have to go. It however can easily be replaced with a Flag/Freewinds Tours section for the benefit of all.

    Liked by 2 people

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