Tag Archives: Nation of Islam

After Conquering the Nation of Islam, Scientology leader David Miscavige Sets His Sights on Costco

DM.Costco

Having conquered the Nation of Islam, Scientology ecclesiastical leader now wants all Costco shoppers to become Scientologists.

Therefore, a special $2,500 Dianetics Starter Kit — which includes a pair of binoculars to spy on your so-called family and friends — is being offered at all Costco locations.

“Paranoia, greed, and revenge are virtues,” Miscavige told Costco denizens as he enjoyed a $1.50 polish dog and diet coke at the Costco food court in Hemet.

The Rev. Dr. David Miscavige: Off Source is the new On Source!

COB.NOISE

Speaking today from the set of Nation of Islam Scientology Education (NOISE), at the SMP studios the Reverend Doctor David Miscavige declared, “Off Source is the new On Source!”

Explained the Rev. Dr. Miscavige, “The Tech moves in great arcs and circles across quadrillions of years of time and this is why yesterday’s Off Source inevitably becomes today’s On Source, ergo IAS statuses are the New OTX. Which is to say, positive case gain is possible for the first time in millennia by donating to the IAS.”

“And by way of new Scientology Policy which I myself have just created based upon the Founder’s lost tech, the EP of ecclesiastical embezzling — or otherwise taking money from others to fund your IAS donations — is this: “I promise not to return to crime if I am set free by the police. It was the work of the devil!”

COB RTC David Miscavige Announces Dianetics II OT Edition

Dianetics

“Even after COB personally and extensively edited and corrected the manifold errors, mistakes, and problems in Dianetics, the 1950 book remains unreadable, ponderous, and unbelievable in every way,” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion.

“Surveys have shown that fully 99.999% of the world’s population does not know what an ‘engram’ is and has no desire to word clear the term,” Delusion noted. “Moreover, engrams are not where the real action is in Scientology anyway. Truth be told, the Church actually loses money on every engram it audits. Flag lost tens of millions of shekels last year by allowing lower level pc’s to blather away for endless hours about their engrams. To this point, COB will be announcing dramatic new plans for the GAT III Bridge on this blog in the very near future.”

“Frankly speaking, Delusion added, “auditing engrams is a complete waste of time and money — and this explains why COB was so quick to sign Dianetics licenses for the Nation of Islam. The Nation seems to like Book One auditing and they are welcome to it. The real action and big money on the Church of Scientology side of things is up there on SOLO NOTs.”

“For these reasons and more, COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige has completely rewritten the Founder’s hopeless 1950’s tome and is issuing it anew as Dianetics II, the David Miscavige OT Edition. Whereupon it is mandatory that every Scientologist purchase two copies. And of course it goes without saying that the big IAS fundraise begins now to place Dianetics II into all 111,290,454,819 libraries in the world.”

 

Church of Scientology Announces Project Ouija Board!

Ouija.Board

COB RTC David Miscavige today announced that the Church of Scientology had obtained exclusive global rights for the Ouija Board from Parker Brothers.

“COB is convinced,” said Church spokesman Ken Delusion,” that the Ouija Board will serve as a means to attract millions of New Age practitioners into the Church of Scientology.”

“Frankly,” Delusion noted, “the Church’s stats have crashed so massively in the past three years that we in the Church of Scientology are now actively reaching out to various spiritual communities in search of raw meat new members.”

“COB’s previous success in recruiting Louis Farrakhan and the Nation of Islam into the Church of Scientology bodes well for his new Project Ouija Board as a means to boom the Ideal Orgs,” Delusion stated.

“The one precaution we are taking,” Delusion added, “is to warn Ouija Board practitioners to stay away from the demon spirit ZoZo, a discarnate SP who uses the Ouija Board to terrify mortals.”

Nation of Islam Scientologists Warn: Beware of the So-Called Jew!

COB RTC David Miscavige is pleased to promote the anti-Semitic musical stylings of  his fellow Scientologists in the Nation of Islam. This song is well worth the listen to as it shows the fruit of Scientology Technology as applied by the Nation of Islam.

The video begins with 16 seconds of silence during which a very funny Nation of Islam joke about Jews and Christmas is displayed.

Scientologist Louis Farrakhan: Satanic Jews Are to Blame!

We in the Church of Scientology wish to publicly acknowledge Scientologist Louis Farrakhan for pointing out that the “Satanic Jews” who control the banks and everything else are the reason for all of the problems in the world.

Scientologist and Nation of Islam Leader Louis Farrakhan has found the exact “why” that neatly explains all of the 4th dynamic aberration on this prison planet.

Which is to say that Satanic Jews are behind Psychiatry.

It logically follows from deduction, then, that as the Church of Scientology’s most deadly wholetrack enemy is Psychiatry, and Satanic Jews are behind Psychiatry, that the Church of Scientology’s deadliest enemy is therefore Satanic Jews.

Driven by Satanic Jews, Psychiatry is indeed an Industry of Death!

Led by COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige, we in the Church of Scientology are working so very hard to shed light on the true nature of Psychiatry and its sheer greed for the Almighty dollar:

* Psychiatry has a fixation on money!

* The Psychs rape governments the world over for money to fund useless Psych programs that don’t work!

* The Psychs have no shame in plundering bank accounts, destroying families, and enslaving people in their prison labor camps!

* Mental illness is a costly and dangerous myth created by the Psychs to make money!

The Church of Scientology’s  goal is to stop the runaway greed and the hypnotic razzle dazzle of the Psych implanters!

Razzle.Dazzle

COB is working to destroy Psych Razzle Dazzle!

Actual research by the Citizens Commission on Human Rights has found that  Psychiatry kills more people in one month than all the people that were killed by Islamic terrorists in 911!

Something must be done to stop all of this Psych murder and terrorism and we in the Church of Scientology are grateful that Louis Farrakhan is the Watchman on the Wall warning everyone of what is truly evil and what is truly good!