Scientology to Turn Its Glut of Empty Ideal Orgs into Airbnb’s

“With a glut of empty Ideal Orgs splattered across the continents of Earth, we in Scientology are hemorrhaging cash paying for the upkeep on all of this square footage. Accordingly, Scientology will be turning its Ideal Orgs into Airbnb’s,” announced Scientology spokesman Ken Delusion.

“Rent one room, one floor, or the entire Org for a day, a week, or a month. These Ideal Orgs have all been lavishly renovated. However, please be advised that you must bring your own toilet paper as we in Scientology do not provide anyone with free toilet paper ever. That is one of Scientology’s most sacred sacraments.”

7 replies »

  1. This is some of the best news that I have heard in quite some time!!! With the influx of raw meat public coming into our Ideal Org, now I will have the opportunity to practice my Dissemination skills and knock off a few checksheet items on my HQS Course. I have been stuck on this portion of the course ever since our fantastically square footed Ideal Org opened. Foot traffic in the area seemed to dry up as soon as the ribbon was cut by COB. If I am really lucky, my dissemination will be effective and I’ll finally have a twin and we can work our way up the Bridge to Total Freedom as co-auditors. Talk about booming the stats!!! How cool is that!!!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yo Ms. B! Da crew waz askin’ if youz had a handy guide to whatevah dat’ language is you speak, da’ one wit all dem abreviationisms?

      Deh tink youz a cutie, but deh can’t figure out wtf youz sayin’ half da’ time!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Well RICO, Ms. B. would be more than happy to provide a guided tour of the nearest Ideal Org and while there introduce everyone to the Bookstore Officer. I can help set all of you up with a complete library of books by L. Ron Hubbard including the Tech Dictionary and the Admin Dictionary. These invaluable resources will give you and the crew the wherewithal to speak fluently in Scientologese which is the coolest language in this sector of the guh-lax-ee!!!
        Oh, and you guys keep your hands and eyes to yourselves (I blush easily) or I’ll also introduce you to the Ethics Officer! Then you’ll find out what cute is all about!!!

        Liked by 2 people

      • I dunno Ms. B, da only books my boiz is interested is dose run by Toots Mahoney down at Mickey’s joint. Maybe if youz could lay 5 ta 1 onda ponies if we visit, we might take a peek.

        As fuh de odder kinda peek, I’ll make shuh youz don’t get bothered, doh I’d luv start seez youz blush just da same… Oh, iz an “Ethics Officer” anyting like a vice copper? Cuz if so, we own all dem flatfoots, so ha ha!


  2. Meh. Old news…

    Joey “broads” Rizzo’s ben doin dis in Vegas fuh years, ‘crept he lets youz use da’ room, or dah house for an hour too! Last time Frank was in town, him, Sammy and Dino “BnB’d” Ceasars, and all you saw was bowlegged broads for blocks!

    Christ ona cross those guys can drink, too; Jilly ended-up in Reno havin’ ta drive back to Vegas wit a 40′ trailer full of Jack Black to keep da party goin’!

    Hell, when da Teamsters hit town, all of Joey’s “BnBs” is packed 24/7 fuh at least two weeks, doh he’s always havin’ ta rotate “staff” as de gurls can only take so much…


    • Bobby “jitters” Farina runz da speed scam, and he’s ovah on 38th and M. He goes low-key and fuh low overhead, so seein’ dat da midget squeezes rent even more den us, we gotz our own dives fuh da’ dope n’ shit.


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