Freewinds Lengthened to Accommodate the Enormous Demand for Scientology

“After two years of work at a cost of $90 million USD, the MV Freewinds has been successfully lengthened to 402 meters (1,319 feet),” announced Captain Mike Napoleon.

“The ship will now be able to accommodate the more than 100,000 Scientologists expected to be granted eligibility for OT VIII in the next twelve months. This boom is a result of COB having created Scientology TV.”

7 responses to “Freewinds Lengthened to Accommodate the Enormous Demand for Scientology

  1. since so many scientologist seem to be wearing puffy pirate shirts; i guess there is now more room for them

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  2. The FreeWinds is really the SlaveWinds. It had to be expanded to hold more slaves for COB! COB will live on it after the US authorities finally indict him for RICO, human trafficking, fraud, assault, money laundering, and a long list of other criems.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Rolling on the floor laughing! No matter how much that Old Lady Blue Dust Rust Bucket puts on the ship makeup, underneath there is a rusty skeleton ready to quit the high seas for good. Plus I swear that ship gives me very creepy feelings, as if on the inside there are dark secrets around every turn, cameras & Sea-Regges waiting to pounce on newly boarded whales celebs wanting a piece of the Invisable OTs or guards waiting to stop those who got there and wanted to split. Either way a ship of fools indeed. 😘

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  4. This is a classic case of overcompensation…COB needs to be careful about making it so obvious.

    Liked by 2 people

    • What’s wrong with COB overcompensating? You act like it’s something bad for COB to have the hugest ecclesiastical pink torpedo in the world! And just look how it glides through all the bubbles in COB’s bubble bath!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Fat Tony said da’ midget was tryin’ to sell da’ crew on an “all expenses paid” cruise in da’ Caribbean on dis’ tub. All we had ta’ do is take care of a few problems for him, some punks by da’ name of Ortega and August-sometin’.

    We decided to pass, as we own 70% of Princess Cruise lines, and we also don’t whack nobody who makes a habit of fuckin’ wit dat sawed-off little prick. Besides, Jilly was wit Frankie when he went to Cuba for Meyer and da’ rest o’ da’ Commission back in da’ day, and he said Curaçao ain’t got shit on Cuba for broads and booze, and you don’t gotta put up wit none o’ dat OT shit niether.

    Like

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