So you thought you could celebrate Christmas without we in Scientology finding out? Well you were wrong! And you will not be released from Scientology interrogation until you give us a full written confession.
You know how wrong Christmas is. You know Christmas is an R6 implant created by the Psychs. And the money you wasted “celebrating with family and friends” is a very serious crime! We in Scientology needed that money to help clear the planet.
You’re in very serious trouble. Even after you confess to the crime of celebrating Christmas — and you will — you’re still looking at beatings and decades of hard time in a Scientology prison. But please, take your time writing out your full confession. We in are in a jovial mood you see. For while you were celebrating Christmas we in RTC were celebrating another year of not getting caught while the money kept rolling in from our foolish little parishioners. COB RTC Mr. David Miscavige is also very happy with the 100 kilograms of gold bars he received from the Sea Org as a Christmas gift.