David Miscavige is many things: Global ecclesiastical leader, scholar, humanitarian, acclaimed orator, auteur, inventor, interior decorator, empire builder, billionaire, and now he is set to show the world his impressive talents as “Hollywood director David Miscavige.”
Mr. Miscavige’s new film: Going Clear: Scientology and the Bridge to Total Movie Stardom explains why and how Scientology can make anyone a movie star, a billionaire, or anything else they want to be.
“Why just look at me,” chuckled Miscavige. “I was a chain-smoking ninth grade drop out with bad asthma and Scientology allowed me to become a wealthy and powerful global ecclesiastical leader who chain smokes, has bad asthma, and enjoys fine scotch very frequently.”
“Going Clear: Scientology and the Bridge to Total Movie Stardom is a vital planetary-changing film that puts the lie to Alex Gibney’s so-called documentary falsely named Going Clear.”
“At 96 hours in length and shot in Panavision, Going Clear: Scientology and the Bridge to Total Movie Stardom surveys the vast panorama of the Scientology experience and includes appearances by Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Jenna Elfman, Bob Duggan, Ken Delusion, Stayta Kleer, and many other leading Scientologists.”
“And best of all, the film is sound tracked with Scientology music written by the Founder and released on the LP The Road to Freedom:
what ! Not in 3 D??? (or some Dynamics.)
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The 3D version is too powerful and caused all test audiences to instantly die. COB cannot release it for reasons of public safety.
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Are you kidding? Even the non-3D version is too powerful for some of us lesser Thetans. After 96 hours of this brilliant cinematic effort and classic soundtrack generously provided by the foresighted, poetic and blissfully crooning Founder, I’m not feeling too good. I guess my case level just isn’t up to being able to have that much Theta. It would be great if the ushers at the Ideal Theaters could also provide touch assists to help get us through the film (for a nominal additional donation of course).
I loved the appearances by Scientology celebrities!!! Even though they must number in the hundreds of thousands in Hollywood alone, it appears that only the specialesty, Biggest Beingest celebs could be squeezed into the highly pared down 96 hour presentation. I wish that Juliette Lewis was in the Biggest Beingest clique, she’s hot. I must say that I was hoping for a cameo appearance by Shelly Miscavige, but I guess that will have to wait for the release of a sequel, or maybe more appropriately a prequel.
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In my early years as a $cientologist, I shared an apartment with Stayta Kleer. Man, what a %#$@&^ bitch!