“The evidence is conclusive,” said Dr. Dirk Duchebaag, the Director of the Church of Scientology’s Center for Science in the Public Interest.
“Global warming is linked to increased attacks upon the Church of Scientology by SP’s”
“Expressed in terms of science, SP attacks upon Scientology dump two hundred million tons of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere annually. This translates into fifty billion BTU’s of atmospheric heating. Shockingly, HBO’s Going Clear made this all exponentially worse by a factor of 5,000X! No wonder the glaciers are melting!”
“The chart shown below scientifically proves the following conclusions:
- Positive activities performed by the Church of Scientology definitively reduce global warming.
- Attacks on the Church dramatically increase global warming.
- Th fate of the planet absolutely depends upon Scientology being free from attacks by SP’s.
The implications of Scientology’s study is clear: A special set of laws need to be enacted immediately by the US Congress and the UN to give the Church of Scientology special protections from criticism while simultaneously rounding up SP’s and imprisoning them on a mass basis in concentration camps in Alaska. The old “Siberia Bill” in the US Congress can be easily revived and signed into law in order to protect Scientology while harshly punishing SP’s.”
“COB RTC David Miscavige addressed the Siberia Bill in his Emmy-winning appearance with wog journalist Ted Koppel”