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  1. Wow, I didn’t realize we were making the very same suits used at our Finical Instruments Containment Facility available to the public. This is the only place RTC certified to store large sum of financial instruments per LRH policy. You see it has come to our attention that all currency is infected with BTs. After much study of recently discovered missing tech! Which was just recently uncovered during a routine visit to a Swiss Bank Safety Deposit Box. We have determined that BTs are attracted to money like Regs on wednesday evening. LRH conducted a huge amount of research into this area collecting and safely storing millions of samples in-order to study and analysis. He discovered that not only does every financial instrument have BTs but how to create a BT proof financial instrument . And we at RTC have fully duplicated this method and are introducing clear money!!! ACTION: All OTIII and above are hereby ordered to send all their money, gold, silver, stock certs and equivalents to the IAS Financial Storage Area. All Money and financial instruments must be received no later than Thursday at 2pm. They will receive in-exchange an equivalent amount of IAS Clear money*. This action will be a monumental step in Planetary Clearing with a finial step of all Planetary Financial Instruments being safely stored at FICF thus a planet cleared of dangerous BT infested WOG money! *Please note: clear money will not be accepted for Services, Accommodations or IAS status upgrades!

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  2. We saw this machine and quickly concluded it must be a BT removal unit engineered to replace the current OT levels dedicated to cluster removal. We were ecstatic, thinking, “WOW!! This will save a lot of money and time!”

    The aberrattive nature of such thoughts was quickly revealed when we further cognited, “When was the last time COP ever made even the slightest attempt to save any of us time or money?”

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    • Your aberrative thoughts are part of the larger R6 group bank. The deep implants installed into you by the Psychs trillions of years ago cause you — and the entire humanoid population on this planet — to think there must be an easier way out of the trap. But there is not. The Bridge is the only way out, and, the only way out is the way through. You can at least take solace in the fact that GAT II is now perfected and the new Ultra VIII meter is 50,000x faster than all previous meters. The Ideal Orgs, GAT II Tech, and the perfect meter are all in place. All that is needed is for you to quit nattering and making COB wrong and get back onto and moving up your Bridge. To help you, we in RTC invite you to come in to your nearest Ideal Org for a free one hour ARCx repair session.

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  3. OTVIIIisGrrr8!, I shared this clever flyer with some of the members of that other cult I flirt with. Those SubGs found it to be a source of much Slack, so thanks.

    One of them had a suggestion I thought I would pass on. He said, never mind “clearing”, find a way to collect rent from those alien ghosts. Well, it seems so obvious! Has David ever considered this? If each member in good standing were held responsible for an IAS status for every BT they locate, that would far more productive than just auditing them out. If you want to stay on the level, better level up those BTs! Every thetan must have a status, no exceptions!

    Wait, did I just spill the beans on OTIX and OTX? I guess David did say something about this, now that I think about it. Oops. Tell him I’m sorry for the spoiler, I’ll bring him a little gift to make up for it. What’s COB drinking these days, anyway?


  4. Dedicated Sea Org members have begun tricking out a suit for a certain un-named Hollywood A-List Big Being. The cart will have 20’s with chrome spinners, back lit gauges and burl wood accents. It will be a real chick magnet when it’s done. When the ladies see it, it screams “I’m body thetan free. Call me.”

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