“Styrene, benzine, toluene, freon, acetone, MMA, MEK, exene, cyclopentane and other chemicals are vitally needed in large quantities if we in the Church of Scientology are to practice our religion properly,” declared Church spokesman Ken Delusion.
“We are therefore pleased to announce that we will be demolishing our old and shopworn Hollywood ‘Complex’ to build the badly needed Scientology Religious Chemical Factory #1 on the land.”
“And as we in the Church of Scientology are a 100% IRS-certified religion, our wog attorneys have informed us that our new ecclesiastical chemical factory is not subject to any of those complicated and bothersome secular EPA rules.”
“Essentially,” Delusion stated, “we in the Church of Scientology are free to pump hundreds of tons of toxins and pollutants into the air each and every day because we are a religion.”
“Religious demolition of the old Complex begins tomorrow and this too will be unpermitted and unregulated because we are religion.”
“Thank God for religious tax exemption,” Delusion concluded.