“Recent surveys performed by an outside firm have shown that the Church of Scientology is perceived as being unfriendly and strange by fully 92% of the raw meat wog public,” stated Comrade Dr. Frank Wonderman at a secret briefing to members of the Sea Organization.
“Accordingly, Captain Miscavige has appointed me to be the new Scientology Politeness Dictator.”
“I will be out there at the Org level enforcing COB’s new policy of ‘Friendlier and Less Strange in 2015.’ Any suppressive or Psych-motivated counter-intention on politeness will be severely punished,” warned Comrade Dr. Wonderman.
“COB has additionally hired professional wog ‘Politeness Coaches’ to teach politeness and non-strangeness to Sea Org members. For example, all of the yelling and screaming should be toned down — particularly around the inferior public members of the Church.”
“It would also be a good idea to tone down the ecclesiastical beatings and secret seances as these, per survey, seem strange to the wog public.”