After taking down the racist Civil War era monument of Robert E. Lee, a few Virginians were perplexed to awaken this morning and find it replaced by a giant bust of 1950’s era racist L. Ron Hubbard.
Virginia’s Director of Public Works Ken Delusion denied that any bribes were involved. “The bust of L. Ron Hubbard was put on the pedestal due to popular demand of the 22 million Scientologists who live in Virginia,” Delusion stated.
“The new monument also features a large-screen which broadcasts the speeches of Scientology leader David Miscavige 24/7/365 so that all Virginians may be comforted by COB’s virtual presence at all times.”
Ken Delusion said that while he is a Scientologist he is also a Christian. “Scientology offers people a set of tools designed to help them live better, more able, and more effective lives. For example, Scientology’s tools for living makes me be a better Christian.”
When asked to name his favorite book in the Bible, Delusion paused and replied, “The Gospel of Ron.” When it was pointed out that there is no Gospel of Ron in the Bible, Delusion emphatically declared that there is a Gospel of Ron in his Scientology King Dave bible.