David Miscavige Slips into Old Age; Rails Against the Onset of His Decrepitude

Scientology leader David Miscavige began the new year protesting the ravages of advancing age and the acceleration of his physical, mental, and psychological plunge into decrepitude.

“The food they serve me in the RTC assisted living facility has no taste,” Miscavige complained. “I can’t remember anything — and I haven’t had a decent bowel movement since the Portland Crusade!” he kvetched.

Mr. Miscavige’s attorney Heinrich Leibermann asserted that Miscavige’s declining mental, physical, and emotional state is real and was not designed as a sham defense against the tsunami of lawsuits in which the Scientology Pontiff is drowning.

1 reply »

  1. COB needs to follow the example of LRH, and take the psych drug Vistaril. That, plus large amounts of COB’s favorite drug (butt polish) will make COB into a new man!


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