“With anti-religious bigots running loose everywhere across the world, all Scientologists are expected to buy and use the new religious bigotry alarm button,” said Rev. Ken Delusion, Director of Religious Bigotry Prevention for Scientology.
“Whenever a Scientologists sees even the faintest sign of religious bigotry, he or she is expected to push the religious bigotry button over and over and over until the religious bigotry ends. The piercing 150 decibel siren on the emergency button will deafen religious bigots!
“It is only by being loud and shrill for all of eternity that we in Scientology can end religious bigotry,” declared Rev. Delusion.
“In the meantime we must pray to a higher power that all of the anti-religious bigots will meet a horror-filled and awful fate; perhaps they will all be drowned in a global flood while we remain safe on the Scientology Org-Ark!”