Scientology Announces Recall of OT III’s


An OT III infected with the Sike A Virus

“We in RTC have found direct evidence that Big Pharma sabotaged the neural network we implant into OT III’s,” said Inspector General Tech Mr. Ken Delusion.

“We found the Sike Virus A in 90% of OT III’s tested. Big Pharma attackers  got into the neural networks of OT III’s via an unsecured IPsec tunnel in the CSI corporate LAN. It didn’t help that the master password was 1234.”

“As a result, we have instructed the Church of Scientology International to issue a recall on all OT III’s in order to install a new neural network. As this requires opening the skull, anesthesia will be used. Healing time varies, but affected parties should plan on one Earth year. Side effects may include vampirism, hallucinations, and paranoia.”

3 replies »

  1. I hope these OT III’s with faulty neural circuits don’t expect to get out of paying the full price for the level again just because of CSI’s incompetence at protecting the network. If they try that, tell them to sue Big Pharma. Any extra money won could be used to upgrade their status levels.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Andrew, the OT III’s will of course pay full price to have their new neural networks installed. After all, they pulled in Sike Virus A!

      The lesson here is to be always vigilant as a Scientologist:

      1. Are my dentures seated correctly in my oral cavity?

      2. Have I paid proper obeisance to COB?

      3. Am I upgrading my IAS Patron Status regularly?

      4. Has my OT III neural network been sabotaged by Sike Virus A? Is that why I’m not getting a dial wide unkillable F/N with VGI’s at the end of each GAT II auditing session at Flag?

      Liked by 2 people

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